Your friend has my sympathy and you my respect. My mother is in her 80s. Local older ladies seeking casual sex love relationship She is in poor health just poor enough that my dad, the same age, waits on her hand and foot. He has told me she has a form of dementia and I must be sure not to upset her. The woman has always ruled the house, Dad and both us. My brother moved states away for school and never came back. But he s and tells her he loves her and is very much the "Super -" vs my being the problem. I don't much care, after 50 it finally dawned on me that her emotional probably made me the strong and capable person I am. At this point, my parents need help. I am perfectly willing to move in with them, in fact my husband and I both would. We our home so I us renting it out rather than selling it. But my mother not allow. And that is the rub. What she not allow. The house is packed basement to attic with her hoard not the type where you can't walk and there are mice hiding in the piles of boxes, but close. Who needs 3 crock pots, 2 roasters, 4 toaster ovens? I say get rid of it sell the silver and, donate anything useable, then GotJunk or such. Dad says no, it would upset her. She goes upstairs to the kitchen when he is not home, tho he's asked her not too. She's cut herself, left things on the stove and last time around fell while watering the plastic plants, hurting herself an leaving a pot on the stove. She's okay and there wasn't a fire just a lot of smoke and a ruined pot. I say lock the door at the top of the stairs. Dad says no, it would upset her. Yes, she is physiy mentally unwell. My own opinion is that Dad needs to either step up, grow a set and do what needs to be done to keep her safe OR step out of the way. I'll be the b*tch and let her be mad at me. That would start with my meeting with her doctors to find out exactly what her situations are and what the ongoing plan is for her care. But that is my opinion, which she, Dad and my brother disagree with loudly and with emphasis on how they have her best interests at heart. So I go along when I can, walk away when I can't take it anymore and pray that God doesn't fit to take my father first. Good luck to you both