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fuck tonight Theodosia Missouri Together for 17 years and a poor sex life for 15. Went 4 years w/o any at all once. I can't remember the last time. It certainly wasn't in. Sex is obviously not our only issue, but it is our only _consistent_ issue. Whatever we were struggling with personally or together the common denominator is there is no sex life. As each hurdle was crossed or each issues faded away there was always that we'd turn the corner and we never did. When she was working she was too tired and stressed. When she was not working then she was worried about finances. When finances were going well, then she was stressed about her appearance. When everything seemed okay then there were external factors like her sister moving in with us and us not having privacy or our own space. Lately the issue is that I snore, so I haven't shared a bed with her in 3 years even though somehow we managed for 14 years prior. I have been thinking of leaving her and I've talked to her about it. It makes us both very sad. I have such a hard time talking to her about it. I took her to breakfast this morning and I just couldn't bring up the topic. Tonight we sat here on opposite couches facing each other before she went to bed. I am so incredibly sad and in a lot of pain. I know it's Christmas, but there is no in my life right now. I am so despondent. It seems like we talk about it every 6 months or so. Last time was in and she had been drinking so I did not go far beyond the usual "I am not happy in the relationship" as I learned those are not good conversations to have after drinking and yet I don't have the nerve when sober. I write her a lot of letters which I never send her as, when I did send them 10 years ago, it led to a lot of conversations but no improvement in bed. Every night when I go to sleep I think about what to say to her and those words go unsaid the next day. Whenever I think about sex (and, as a, that's about every 30 minutes) I mutter to myself internally "Dumb bitch." I told her that I do that and it can't possibly be positive for our relationship, but nothing changes. I have half a mind to wake her right now and tell her it's over. I am so heartbroken and so angry, resentful, and confused. Why would my _wife_ do this to me? I wouldn't do this to a bitter enemy She says she loves me and wants be with me, but no sex.