K.M.W.S m4w I can't seem to get you off of mind for even the briefest of moments.....You are still the last thing I think of before I drift off to a night of uneasy sleep, and the the first thing I think of when I awake....we are soulmates and you are my true and last love............. I miss so much about adult wants sex Lamberton Minnesota 56152 us that I could list on and on..... I miss your cute little snore throughout the night..... I miss the way you would lift your head off the pillow in the middle of the night.... I miss whispering I Love You in your ear.... I miss the way you loved on my little girl.... I miss our super comfortable bed and how uncomfortable it feels without you in it... I miss the overwhelming feeling of calmness I felt with your head on my shoulder.... I miss how we fit together like two puzzle pieces.... I miss waking up next to you every morning and thinking how lucky I was to be able to do so..... I miss bringing you your coffee.... I miss all of the conversations and discussions we used to have... I miss your awesome smile, and hypnotic eyes..... And yes, I even miss the strange noises that would come from your stomach.... I miss all of these things and so much more..... I never meant to mess things up the way I did.....If I could do it all over again, I would give you your space to think... I would never let the doubts overcome you again..... I live with so much regret about our situation right now..... But also a sliver of hope that I can make things right one day, and be back where we belong.... How do you just let go of love? It's hurting and eating me up inside, all I want to do is crawl into a ball on the floor and die from tears. I keep telling myself I am better off without you, that you will only hurt me again and again. That I am strong enough to get through this and be happy, that somewhere out in this abyss is a light that will bring fire back to my heart and make me whole again. At least that is what my mind is saying anyway, so I try to listen. Then my heart screams at me and wails you are gone and I love you.... oh how it hurts when both are at odds. What I would give to be happy again, to love again, to believe. Some say turn to god for your answers, let him come into your heart and light the way, others say time will heal all. I have been on my knees begging god please this whole time, asking him to help take away the pain to alleviate some of it so I could just breathe and I have watched the clock tick on the wall endlessly trying to keep my mind blank. It does not seem to help in either case, I still imagine the ease of which I could exit this world. So people tell me it's god telling me I have a purpose that I am still here, but I am so blind I cannot see it. So I implore someone to tell me how to let go, I do not want to live like this anymore, For this is not life, but my own personal hell.

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