Does anyone understand? I love my wife. When I married her, I knew she was very traditional, very conservative. I thought my proclivity for BDSM was just a perversion I needed to grow out of. So for 15 years I tried to set it aside, to forget it. But it wouldn't go away. Used to be when I would hear a gay person say "I was just born this way," I didn't get it. I thought it was some kind of cop out. Now I understand: this is who I am: I'm a Dominant. I'm a sadist. No reason for it. No trauma, no childhood. I don't hate women. Quite the opposite. I simply derive sexual gratification from tying someone up and inflicting pain on her. I'm not a monster. It's something done between consenting adults who respect, love, and, above all, trust each other. Well, now I'm out of the closet with my wife, and my fears have been realized. She wants no part of it. She loves me, and accepts this as a part of me, but she won't even try. And now she expects me to remain faithful to her. I love her, and I love my . I don't want to leave. But I'm dying here, trying to be someone I'm not. I don't want advice. I don't want judgment. I don't want a lesson in morality. I want to know if there's a submissive woman out there who understands where I'm coming from, and needs it as much as I do. I'm really putting myself out on a limb here, so don't expect me to send a or share a bunch of personal information with you right away. Let's talk, and see if maybe we can help each other. Who knows-maybe we've been looking for each other for a long time.

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